Ninja

Saturday, December 18, 2004

I wrote long2 already but accidentally erased. Sianz. I drained all my tears and I filled much happier now. But still, I quite miss her. There's still this after effect of the broken heart. It have been wounded quite bad. I juz want her to be happy. By not being with me would, I don't mind so long as her happiness is concerned. I don't mind forsaking my happiness for hers. I hope she don't have other ulterior motive as for her decision. I will find the one one day. I found it but lost it. She'll always be the one in my heart. But I would have to make a strong front denying what I actually feel inside. I guess that is life huh?? Nothing last forever and that life is kust a loan. I believed that I'm destined for more than ehat I expected. Maybe this happens because Allah wants me not to do those sins. Yar.. And that with this break up. I would really realise that how a break up of rejection could cause someone to be bonkerzz. Hahakz. I know I've made a lot of mistakes in life. But some I don't even realise. To me not knowing is the gretest failure. But ignorance is also a blessing in disguise because you won't worry so much. At the same time, you feel you are in the dark and would feel left out. I neither rich nor good-looking. I don't know if I would ever have the courage to ask a girl out anymore. I feel so afraid. Afraid of the reoccurrance. But to think about it. My palz also don't have girlfriendz. That would make us even again now. Singles. I don't have to waste my money on her anymore. I can now buy a bag I desire for so long. There are many girls. In fact more female than male. Hmm.. I'll find the one who loves me and I love her in return one day. I will make sure that nothing will break us up no matter the outcome. For now, I got to concentrete on my 'o' levels. Busy busy is what I got to say. So, I'll start working hard now. Luckily I'm not working. I have the free time for my own activites. I will rule the world.. Hahakz. Nah, just want my life to be fulfiled. Have a good family. A suppportive and loving one. Have good friends. Have a good house. I don't favour bunglow anymore. What is the need to have to. now that she's gone. i think otherwise. Our aspirations coincide too much. That is why we did not work out.

5:44 AM
Shalihin